i’ve admit to many mistakes and this day was a blow to my chest….and i’m still not crying!!

a fortunate disease? ((i consider not crying to be a very serious disease…how about bursting yourself with emotions?))

i’m not in the position to discuss such matters…because i may be bursting my emotions in a public place. ((chai pauses and looks around)) uh…so this isn’t so public….the lobby.

uhm…but there are about three people here excluding me….

i consider that public.

i may have made this big mistake….but i’m not making another one by quitting.

uhm…for the “love” thingie—-problemo….uhm….uhm…i may quit.

but before a complete shutdown of my love system for him, i need to research girly magazines and probably psychology journals to assess whether this is the right time to quit…

hint no. 1:

he did not respond or retaliate the feeling of “like” to me when i told him i still have feelings for him.

hint no. 2:

he does not consider me a vital part of his life and i realized that i may be a pawn for his mere enjoyment…an easily deceited toy…a poor choice for the dispersion of his boredomness.


hint no. 3:

after a month of nonsensical texting to him, uhm…i did not get anything from him…at least that’s what my brain tells me…my girly senses say otherwise.

uh…brain vs. girly senses (scientifically accepted term is intuition)

which will win?

i guess we’ll never now.

besides, how many hints do i have to be collecting to prove the undesired conclusion?

i mean, if it’s the fact…it’s the fact.

sudden realization: am i talking to myself again? i must be really depressed.

hay….i just have to say something that’s on my mind….and that is:

i will never kill myself

i will never kill myself

i will never kill myself.


hm…i feel slightly better knowing i won’t die tonight…at least i would try to.


i burnt my skin ACCIDENTALLY….sakit au. fufu


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