i’m kinda happy about how this is going

so —-
we never really talk much.
but i guess that makes a short conversation even more special.
receiving a reply from him would seem to be a delight rather than focusing on the fact that he really doesn’t get too sweet on texting—he wants to talk more about other things.

i’m still trying to cope the fact that he never contacts me much.
and probably expecting that we won’t see each other quite soon ((unless i fly out to his place)) even during sembreak or summer.
((he gets too lazy just coming over to see me))

why do i feel insecure when he does not reply?
i guess i’m too afraid that what happened to our relationship back when i was still a freshman here in SU would happen again.
i’m still traumatized, i guess.
i fear that he might not be directly telling me, but he must have been showing signs that he wants to break up with me—that might have gone unnoticed by me.
i don’t want to have to ask “do you love me?” and get a reply “not anymore”.
does he have to wait for me to ask him before he tells me there’s nothing?
since when do you feel like you don’t love me anymore?
although, i didn’t ask that question—-i already got the feeling on May that he didn’t care for me anymore.
He simply patted on my head that day we met—somewhere.
Ooooh…i’ve drifted so far in the past.

so, yeah. generally—to summarize: i’m just afraid that he actually does not love me anymore but he does not tell me;
instead, he waits for me to ask him.
huhu, i’m really afraid that that would happen.

mag-goodmorning and good-evening lang ko niya always;
coz it makes me feel good and happy that someone’s there.

hopefully—he’s still there.


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