n. in chai’s dictionary: being frustrated for seemingly no reason but maybe there is an indepth reason but it never seems to come to mind

i am through continually glancing at my cellphone when the only person texting me is percy

types of text she sends me:
1. the usual
good mornings;
good afternoons;
good evenings*;
good nights*
* there is a difference between these two; one means i’ll still be awake, one means it’s time to go nytinyt and sleep tight, you match the things

2. the japanese
ohayoOoo gozaimasu ((pardon me for my spelling))

3. bisaya
au buntag
au gabii
tulog na ta

4. the funny quotes
now, the funny quotes—i don’t mind. the next numbered items proved to be a problem

5. the love and forgiveness message
ma-yabo jud ko ani oi.

6. the message with the name of God
Haven’t they heard that using the name of God in a vain is a crime?

—i really don’t want to keep glancing at the phone when all i think is that he is not texting me. don’t mistake me; i do understand that it is his HELL PERIOD ((i have erased the hellweek term in my mind because it covers more than a week)). but i don’t know, can’t help but be possessive and selfish.
it’s on my star sign—libra.
Oooh…I’m getting so horroscopic.

I am trying to stop texting him though.
I think the last text i sent him was:
“miss mo ako?

now, in my own opinion—-that says a lot.

pardon me for being a libra

i am possessive.
i am needy.

that fact  i can’t deny. ((i poorly deny that sometimes))
but it seems that the thing that i’m craving for is rightfully shoule be in my possession.

for instance,
if i put effort, he should do the same.
though i’m not implying that i’m expecting something in return for everything i’ve put effort.
at least try to communicate with me.
even small talk would lift my spirits—
—and make me somehow remind myself that
“ah…i am someone’s someone”
no one’s really too busy when it comes to doing something you like.
—like playing dota
—like blogging
—like drawing
—-sleeping ((for me))

am i just a nutcase?
or a nuissance?
someone he could pick up anytime he wants?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s