Birthday Candles Out

PULSE: “that one person not on the list—could have easily equate to all of
the people who were there. wish IT greeted but he disappointed me”

So as I dragged myself out of my bed, my sister told me: “It’s not your birthday, anymore.”

I ignored her. I already knew that.
One more year of being a teenager. The last year for reckless mistakes—-except I have the option of going to jail.

One last thought before I went to sleep last night was birthday candles. Last year and probably the year before that—I had birthday candles for my wishes.
This year was different—-I didn’t have any ((and i don’t have much problems with that—))
But for the last two years, I had the same wish.

I’m kinda ashamed of it now that IT and I broke up.
Here it goes:
“I wish that I will see him ((since I’m quoting, I’m not allowed to change HIM to IT, but I’m referring to the same person))”
I wished for that twice in two birthdays.
You know why I did that? It seemed that for the last two birthdays, IT was never there ((even this year, IT missed it)) and I gave up during my birthdays—-I realized how much I missed him and wished that I would see him.
But now, I wished for another wish.
“I wish I would grow up.”

When I woke up this morning, I felt kinda depressed…maybe it’s because my mode of projection for my feelings ((reading of twilight)) was delayed until the Stephenie Meyer finishes her book.
But I made another way. I borrowed Sheela’s Kare Kano CDs…And I’m going to watch 26 episodes of this anime. hehe.
Peace out.

I will make my day happy…though it’s not my birthday anymore.

Sheela and Kristel bought me a flower thingy—-it’s a toy. and i don’t know what’s the correct name of that toy.


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