Me describing myself plus my short list of crushes

I’m female.
19 years old ((last October 16 1989))
I think I have some issues.
I think it’s one of those unprescribed mental illness that will soon
flood Discovery Channel when someone finds it interesting.

In elementary, I used to be the feared one.
Imagine the girl in a school uniform, hair messed up ((uncombed for 6 days)).
I hated boys.
One look and that guy who peeks at girls’ skirts would flee to the nearest wall.
I used to keep a record of people, rather guys, who I have physically hurt at some point in time.

In high school, I still kept my stature.
—the differences are I comb my hair more often ((but I do sometimes unintentionally miss some days))
—I became less aggressive since I realized the time for me to be possibly jailed (18) was getting nearer
—and I fell in love with a guy
——–who eventually made me realize that I was smarter when I was younger((—-when I use to hate boys)).

Being a guy-hater at a young age would make anyone think—-Oh. She doesn’t have any crush.
wrong. I have crushes ((note the letter s, it means more than one)).
Although my list is smaller than those of normal girls.

1st guy crush.
Kindergarten. When we used to think glue and mud were edible—-and setting the table was of essence.
There was this little boy.
Obviously, he’s from a Chinese family.
His skin was so milky white.

thing: I was the class muse and he was the class prince charming ((the
ones tasked to carry the class banner during parades)).

We never talked too much. My memories on Kindergarten were like silent movies.

When we go home, I would pass by his house—-and the little boy would always be outside riding on his little swing.
He transferred to another school.
When I passed by his home, I would still see him—–again and again until he disappeared. the swing was gone too.
Di ba, drama? haha.

2nd crush.
Grade school. On the boat to Cebu.
Wore a red shirt under a jumper.
My hair was still curly then—-it was ponytailed.
5AM. I can see the sunrise on that circular window——enveloped by the horizon of the sea and the sky.
Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t alone.
I looked up and there was this fairly tall boy…wearing white plain shirt and black pants.
Now I don’t remember his face.
He smiled at me.
I smiled back. “Weird boy,” I thought to myself.
He started to retreat but beckoning me to where his family was staying.
Their area, as it turned out, was the one directly facing the window where we met.

He invited me to play CHESS.
Uhm…I honestly told him that I don’t know how to play.
He said it was alright.
We could play with the pieces. They’re magnets.
Oh, cool, I said to myself. Magnets—-
Okay—I was hypnotized by the magnet.
I was in grade school—-it seemed fun.

But then my mom passed by and told me we had to leave now.
I said goodbye to the boy.
And I never saw him again…if I did, I wouldn’t know it was him.

Wouldn’t it be a nice love story if we saw each other in the near future?
haha. Imagining things.

3rd guy crush.
I only remembered knowing him when I was in 3rd grade.
After I was elected class muse ((again—hmf.)), he surprisingly got the prince charming role.
He was a transferee.
And yet—-people were charmed, drawn to him.
People were now pairing and teasing me to this stranger.
He’s small.
Got a big head.
Smart-looking——and after a few weeks I realized that his looks proved to be undeceiving.
He is Einstein.

He was my first proper suitor.
Although he didn’t directly say it to me.

Incident no. 1 with 3rd guy crush.
Jane Carl was letting everyone sign her autograph and crush’s name was a priority to tell the truth.
I wrote his name.
Jane Carl told me he wrote my name.

Incident no. 2 with 3rd guy crush.
Birthday: October 16
He came up to me after class and gave me something.
Stickers—-of bears.
It was cute.
He left.
Someone then told me that he was going to buy me a stuff toy but he couldn’t afford it at this time.
I smiled.
I appreciated his generosity despite my attitude towards him. ahem.
I actually—-accidentally—-threw a wooden block on his head. He didn’t talk to me for two days.
I didn’t know how to say sorry but he approached me first—trying to annoy me.
call him kapre; he calls me tikbalang ((‘coz I kick him too much, I
could have received a violation report at an early age but then he
didn’t complain)).

puppy love.
6th grade—our final point before we go to high school.
He applied for Philippine Science High School.
He transferred.
That left me thinking.
It was a sudden goodbye.

Guess when? February 14 when I was a sophomore in ICC. at exactly 12NN on my watch.
BCN, an internet gaming cafe, where I picked my brother.
But I ignored him—-because of crush no. 4

guy crush no. 4
I don’t want to talk about him.


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