life has its ups and downs

my mood is in my downs right now—

but the good news is that i almost (almost only) cried my feelings out.
but I had to stop myself because I was in a public area—-the Church.
maybe if I cried at least once, I’ll forget about it all.

I suddenly thought of asking him a refund of my trip.
I could have saved that in the bank and made use of it when I graduate ((I’m planning to ask from my parents the least amount possible for my transfer of residence when I get a job somewhere)).

Oh well, I’ll try to repeat these thoughts when I’ll be in the bathroom tomorrow.
But I also did think that I’m never going to find a boyfriend ((not that I’m looking for ONE right now)).
Seeing the dog, Madonna—-Jonica’s sister’s friend’s dog, reminded me that I wanted a family someday.
Should I change my attitude to gain this?

I’ll try to post a new—-what kind of guy do I have in mind——I know I had at least two versions to this and I’ll try to remake it again.


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