Excerpt from the movie “Sex and the City”
“Does that mean saying his name fifty times
more day than I say my own?
Does that mean worrying about him
and his needs before me and mine?
Is it all about the other person?
Is that love?”
“No, that’s marriage.”
Hm…I’m sure they created the dictionary for one reason: so people understand each other and we have a uniform definition for every word. But why do people fight?
Do we not own the same dictionary?
What is love?
Check the internet, it’s probably the most talked of topic in the world. It’s the most commonly used topic in poems, essays,…etc. Whether it’s love with the opposite sex, love with the same sex, family, friends, people of the whole world! (heal the world, everybody!)
It’s been a long time since I cried.
And if I saw myself last time I cried, I wouldn’t see what’s worth crying for.
I cried for one reason:
he told me that he was bored and wanted to sleep.
And we had a fight before that so that was probably a reason for him not to talk to me…
…or he is really bored and sleepy.
we had a one week talk, and it was fun.
but now he’s reaching to the phase where he stopped texting…
I mean, was that it?
His effort is only up to that?!
Don’t mistake me,
I love him.
His name echoes in my head more times than my own.
I care when he does not eat, not happy, bored, silent…(and wonders if he was raped, kidnapped or something).
But he tells me one thing to do that I don’t like at all and he bursts…
you know, he suddenly then talks about someone stepping up in a relationship because it’s not possible that the two are equal because no decision will be possible.
So, what was our past relationship?
Who was the master?
And are you telling me that he was the master of our relationship until I told him that I didn’t want to do what he asked me?!
So…now, I try my best to keep a low profile (as my horoscope tells me).
And wait for it to pass.
And I don’t want to break up with him…
but I’m waiting for him to break up with me…I don’t make him happy, we don’t have the same philosophies, needs and wants, our birth signs are incompatible (why did i even include this?)…
It would break my heart to let him go of me….
But maybe he’ll find a girl who loved to be the servant and wants to be experimented on.
Well, there’s another issue…other than that master thingy.
When I asked him about him not texting me that much…suddenly disappearing and popping out unexpectedly,
I asked him if he was busy…
and he said he was not.
He was just not in the mood to communicate at all.
That hurt. But I had to listen to what he said. Because he never lies.
Okay, so there are two issues in this short story of mine:
One: I told him that I needed to hear from him from time to time about what he’s doing…and he told me that he wanted a low maintenance girl friend….WHAT?! Am I not already low maintenance? I don’t require him to text me everyday…but I wanted to know if he had a bad day or something….
Okay, I’ll tell you the reason on why I think I’m low maintenance…let’s compare me to other girls:
Other girls need to be given gifts, pasalubongs, flowers on special occasions, I don’t like that.
Other girls need to be talked to every day, every possible hour, possibly every minute…
I don’t wear make-up, have a haircut that needs to be maintained with a special kind of product, don’t wear clothes that require to be careful everytime I ride a pedicab or a motorcab…I’m low maintenance!!!!
Two: If he texts, I always reply because he miscalls everytime I don’t reply to him. If I text, he doesn’t feel obliged to reply!!! Where’s the equality in that? huhuhuhu…
I love him.
But I worry…
if he ONLY thinks he loves me…
or if he’s using me to fit his fantasies…