ADVICE from a not-so-good adviser…okay, i’m not GOOD at all


ONE OF THE SCARIEST QUESTIONS TO ASK
and one of the shortest to answer, with very high risk…
Do you love me?

What’s wrong with asking that question?
First, you’re putting yourself in the spotlight. Another equivalent to saying “Do you love me?” is actually: “I love you, do you feel the same?”
The question is a self-declaration of your feelings and at the same time, trying to get a confirmation if the feeling is mutual.
This is being OPEN…vulnerable. You are opening yourself, so that the person would open up to you…hopefully, what that person may share is favorable though.
The risk: hearing the answer no…the experience will be really traumatic…no experience yet, but that will be what i’m afraid of if i do that.

Second, what if the answer is neither yes or no—-but maybe?
The worst answer is maybe. It will cause an awkward pause. But maybe…there’s a good side…since it’s actually a No, it signals a hope.
But..MAYBE?! What am I? A dog that chases you all the time…hearing you say maybe to my question…waiting for you to say No before I push my tail out of existence?
You’ll invest time waiting for the answer…is it really worth the risk?

Third, what if it’s a yes…what now?
…the future is very cloudy…

So, what are the do’s and do not’s for this question?
DO…
     …think before you leap!
     …say what you really feel.
     …think that this may be the first and last time she/he’ll ever ask you.
     …think that the person has actually used up effort for this.
DON’T
     …say MAYBE.
     …IGNORE.
     …do nothing.

why am i advising something I’m not an expert on? well…sometimes you need someone ((even a stranger…or a person who does not deserve to say this…or a person who does not know anything about it)) to say it. Because sometimes people know what to do in a certain situation…but they forget the solution once they’re in it! (Have you experience a mind blank out?)

😉
chai


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